It actually hurts me a little to realize how out of touch I had been with my JC class. It's like only me pulling away but the others are still as close. Sometimes I do feel bad for it, but everytime I want to strike up a conversation with one of them, I could not find any topic, any words. The only things I could write or type was 'Hello', 'Long time since we talked', and I would be speechless again when the replied. I wish I could have casual conversations with them just like that, but it's just so difficult for me. I feel a little broken inside whenever I see such happy conversations appearing on twitter or facebook between them. Sometimes even a little jealous. Just because I know I can never be like that.

Tearing because of this seems so laughable, since it can only be my fault. It's been years since I told myself to try not to depend on people, because when they leave you, you just fall down so hard and leave wounds that would not heal. But until know, I still know that deep inside I still need someone that I can depend on, and even though I try to eliminate this feeling, it still comes back to haunt me occasionally.

Oh right. Being 21 this year probably doesn't even mean anything to me. I guess it will be the usual family dinner on the day itself. I ever wished for a birthday party, or at least a day where I can enjoy, a day where I feel more happy than usual. I wish for presents, not a lot, but just some, best if these were things I wanted. I wish for something special to happen. I wish for a memorable day. But this probably would not happen. Nobody reads this blog anyway. Nobody cares.

Somehow I just can't wait to go Taiwan for SEP, away from people I know so that I don't need to put on this mask everyday. This mask that I hate because it makes me superficial, it makes me a hypocrite.

Funny, isn't it? It's only the second week of vacation. I'm supposed to feel happy and enjoy the free time I have, but I'm here with all these dislikable emotions...

Girls' Day Out

 

It's been a long time since I touched a microphone. I don't even remember when was the last time I went to ktv to sing. But what I do remember that the last time I sang at a ktv, was with this girl also. Haha. So, the two of us went again today, just to celebrate her birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR FRIEND. It's your 21st and I just want to make it memorable for you. At least, I hope it is, and I hope you enjoyed today. Although we were not best of friends, I treasure you because you don't make me feel forgotten. Heehee. Thanks for all the times you fangirl-ed with me and for tolerating me when I say the wrong things and stuff. Haha. 감사합니다. 그리고 생일축하해! Stay zai and pretty forever okay :D

So after kbox I want to Made With Love at Plaza Singapura because they were having a move out sale. Wanted to start on scrapbooking which was one of my plans this vacation so I decided to go there to get some papers and cardstocks. And, I bought a lot. Still need to get some materials from Amazon.com though, but this is a first step. And I'm gonna start printing out some of my instagram photos to include in my scrapbooking. I really appreciate all these photography apps because I have no idea how to edit photos into such nice states and these ready-made filters really helped me out alot. The above photos were edited using instagram and streamzoo. I'm using a Samsung Galaxy SII and both apps are available on android :) Till then!

Dancing again

whee. I finally danced. FINALLY. haha. I haven't like full out in a long time. I am so happy. Really missed dancing eh. All because of exams. Now that exams are over, I can dance as much as I want! But then I seem to have lost my groove. :( I feel so rusty dancing now. Needs to get back the feel as soon as possible. Fighting!

On a side note, Hyesung danced for Mcountdown today! YAY. Like a finally haha. I think about this day for how long already. But this is like the last week of Shinhwa's appearance on music shows. :( Needs to be longer ah, though I know it's because they need to go for their Asia concert tour. Oh wells, I shall wait for 16 June then. Hahaha. So much anticipation! ^^

Oh right. and. HAPPY BIRTHDAY REGINA! not like you will see this la, but still hehe. many many loves to you! Hahaha.