EMCC 2014

Because I never thought dance could affect me that much.

Yesterday marks the end of my first performance as an alumni of NUS Dance Blast! And it was one concert that made me unable to control my emotions. I may not be the best dancer, I may not be outstanding, but just the chance to be on that stage with many others, dancing the to the same song, with the same moves, is already enough.

#naturaldisaster
I requested to join this item at first just because I wanted to try a different genre, and just learn more about dance as a whole. I never expected this to teach me even more than what I wanted to learn. The theme was the aftermath of a tsunami, but in actual fact, the whole dance revolved around LOSS. Just thinking about loss like that, there isn't much. Honestly, I have not exactly faced loss before (e.g nobody leaving me for another world) or maybe I was just to shielded from all these losses. But then again, these losses are physical, what about the emotional, the non-material aspect? Well, this item pulled me all the way there then. As I mentioned in one of the letters to one of the choreographers, graduating, and starting work gave me a reminder that I may not be able to dance as and when I want to. I always accepted it, and was prepared to face the fact that one day, I will not be able to return to stage any more. Every chance on stage, ever since the previous DU, I treated it as my last performance, and was able to end with a smile. But not this time. Doing this item pulled me into the realization that i wasn't actually ready to let go. And the possibility that this might be the last time brought me down even more. And then there was also the realization that I have not lived the life I wanted for the past 20+ years of my life.

And so, on that very stage for the past two days, I created a tsunami with my tears, even before the item started, and also after the item ended. Yesterday was the worst. Holding everything back while on stage just sent me bursting the moment I left the stage and into the wings. I know that all the dancers of this item were holding their tears back as they step onto the stage. Well, the expressions, the emotions were real this time. As real as it can ever be. The feeling of not dancing this item again, the feeling of loss, all of us were feeling it this time.

To the choreographers of this item, I still have more to tell you, besides what I wrote down on the letters, but I'm not good with words, and I don't know how to express it in writing. I just hope that you two have felt it when the item was going on.

To the rest of the dancers of this item, I thank you for dancing with me. And I thank whoever that made us meet, and know one another. I thank you for helping one another, progressing as an item, and not as an individual dancer.

This is one item I will never forget.

#highstresssociety
Of course, as I step into alumni-hood, how can I miss out dancing with the alumni? Just starting work meant that the busy part isn't here yet hence, here I jumped into this item. With dancers of different batches, some already alumni when I entered Blast!, the feeling is so different, but good. I guess at the end, we are all just embracing dance outside of our normal lives, and this is what created the atmosphere in this item. As coincidental as possible, the theme of high stress society applies to many of us, the working people, and I guess this helped us portray the emotions even more.

But well, I'm really happy to be part of them this time, and will definitely want to be part of them in time to come, (if my commitments permit it) and dance with them like the past show days and practices we had.

We may play a lot, fool around a lot, but we are serious (but still fun) when it comes down to dancing, and that is what I like.

Thank you my fellow alumni, for bringing me such joy when I dance with all of you. And thank you for everything :) Onward to S24, SUAD 2014, Let's go! (and I will definitely be one of you whenever possible)

EMCC 2014 - One major turning point in my dance life. <3